My prayer

Do you ever feel
as though life isn't real?
Like you need to be
something you can't see?
Like somehow deep inside
is something you need to hide.

I am too often not real
and I hate the way I feel.
I can no longer pretend
that I've reached the end.
My journey has just begun
and I'm coming undone.

I no longer know the real me
or who I am destined to be.
This confusion clouds my mind
and threatens to leave me behind.
I don't want to feel like this,
yearning for a lover's kiss.

I'm not sure where I am to go,
who will be there, who I will know.
Please give me some hope,
so I may learn to cope.
I need to find myself again
and allow my heart to mend.

Clear my thoughts and guide my dreams,
make things become as they seem.
Don't leave me alone in this place,
give me strength and give me grace.
Free my soul and free my mind,
bring me peace this time.

With these final words I part,
guide my life, guide my heart.
To complete my task,
this is all I ask.
Let me live and let me die,
reborn even as I cry.

Meant

By the warm firelight
I find a new delight
Someone with words like mine
Another keeper of the rhyme
Another master of the lyrics
Bringing his own wordy tricks
A seer into my very soul
And I wonder at what toll
What will be the cost I pay
For this wondrous day?
Have I found my other half
The one to make me laugh?
To share with me my fears
while we comfort each other's tears?
I know not what the future brings
but I hope for many happy things
A silence of the internal screams
fulfillment of my dreams
And so I shall wait and see
If you are meant for me

Fool

I'm a fool
for wanting you
craving you like
an addiction
an ache deep inside
I can't hide from it
I don't want to and yet
I run, because I'm scared
because I care.
Because it is too soon
I don't want to lose
but can I ever really win?
These feelings,
I didn't ask for them
I told myself no,
not again, not now
never again
but I have no control
and now I hide from you
Showing you more of me
than others have ever seen
I am a fool
for thinking you cannot see
I will not say it,
I will deny it
I am not falling...
I am a fool.

Believe

Twisted noises of the night
stealing away my sanity
Why can't I reach you?
Where is the light?
Take me away, make me free
fill this void deep within
make me believe

I can't see, can't feel you
darkness snakes around
creeping through the shadows
making me unreal, unfeeling
stand beside me now
make me whole
break me free
make me believe

Conquer all the shadows
break all the bars
to the cage that holds me within
keep away the sorrows, the tears
of the blackest nights
Take me away, make me free
fill this void, deep within
make me believe

make me believe

Addiction

You came into my life
so suddenly, so quickly
I had no time to react
You stole my sanity
Stole my heart, stole my freedom
You have become an addiction
a craving I can never satisfy
a need that will never go away
I hate needing you like this
wanting you all the time
my addiction, my desire
the darkest fire inside me
Burning so brightly
consuming me with this
awe inspiring rage, a power
like nothing before
You've taken over me
I'm lost to myself
lost in my addiction to you
never knowing if
one day you'll leave me
vanishing forever
leaving me with an eternal
desire for you
a hunger that will
never be filled
you have become
my addiction

The Birth of Ice

I opened my eyes, and saw only darkness
I was filled with such coldness, such rage
it snaked around my warm heart
encasing it in ice as it froze it
locking it away from pain
The blissful feeling of peace and serenity
filled me as I now know, I can be hurt
no more, no longer a victim to your smile
no longer weak to your touch
you have become nothing to me
and I will remember you no more
A cynical smile touched my lips
as I felt myself become Reborn
a creature of the night
a dark soul among shadows
the Frozen among the Living
words are nothing more
than irrelevant thoughts I have no use for
solitude embraces me completely
welcoming me into its ranks
I have become Accepted among the Rejected
for I have witnessed, participated in,
the birth of Ice, the welcoming kiss of coldness
I no longer need anyone or anything
that has not been touched by the Ice
Pain no more, tears of crystal
blood solid in its entrapment between
sheets of Ice, the Reckoning, the Dawning
the embrace-lust, desire, eternal fire
I, the witness
I, the chosen
to the Birth of Ice

The death of love

I try to hate you
but I cannot
I try not to love you
but I cannot
These feelings inside
reside, prevail
consuming me
like a wildfire
You turned away from me
leaving me standing alone
and I felt pain
like never before
It ached, deep within
drowning out reality
and locking me in cold misery
I cried tonight
tears of sorrow
and felt my heart break
Raggedly, into pieces
you didn't even say goodbye
you don't even care
and now I know the true you
I saw your face
before I died
and heard your laughter
mocking me as I went
so now I'm gone
forever away from you,
facing the death of love
I slipped into the darkness

Keeper

I stand alone
a child of night
bound by light
kept to the darkness
by that which
holds me captive
embracing me into
its dark folds
like a mother
comforting a child
I am serene
safe in this
desolated, empty place
utterly alone, with no fear
bring to me the knowledge
that I must know
to do your bidding
and I will love you forever
keeper of my secrets

Master [Not suitable for all ages]

Deep inside of me
lies a darkness
I cannot deny
an evil poison
Flowing through my veins
I hurt so bad inside
One slice, one glorious slice
of the flashing knife
and the pain on the outside
overwhelms the pain on the inside
The burning afterwards
takes away all my tears
and makes me stronger
I need this so bad
the crimson blood
slowly rising from within
to slide out purifying me
the sweet release
of my inner agony
you mock me by day
and I laugh by night
although I may love you
I love cutting more
and I am never truly yours
so think you own me all you want
But my true master is
the cold unfeeling blade
as I press it into my flesh
and draw it across
feeling its biting kiss

Shadow Ride

Give me something deep inside
The darkness I cannot hide
The lies never denied
It's time for the shadow ride

You spit curses at me
The truth you cannot see
This life may never be
The journey to set your soul free

You run around lost
Your battered body tossed
One tear for this tragic loss

The path traveled dark
'til you find your mark
No one can understand
The blood on your hand

Only those that travel this way
those that never see the day
The few light has denied
truly know the shadow ride